High-Risk, High-Return

As I learned from a "high-risk high-return" investment phrase, if we want to get high return and benefit we must sacrifice more and take a higher risk.  Just like another phrase "lose some get some." We've taken this alternative anyway; sacrificing things in my life and so did he. So I hope we can go through for years ahead, make our dreams come true, and living happily without any failures and distractions here and there. Let's do our best to get the "high-return."

I'm sure, with you, there's only a phrase: "lose some get more."

5.7.12

(dot)gif

This is what I did to kill the time in this Easter long weekend besides preparing some Entrepreneur project with my team. Yep, making gif animation. I found this tutorial then tried to follow it. On the first trial, I was failed. Super failed. Couldn't save the animation because, I don't know how it could happen, my Photoshop was like too busy and need a force quit. Maybe because I put too much frames there or I opened too many tabs and windows so it gets confused and hang, and the worse I didn't even save my work yet. *sigh*

So this is my second trial and I think I like to make some other things like this. :D

The words was taken from Tortured Soul's song. The song I've shared in my old post; the song I do really love, the song that has a deep meaning to me, and the song that reminds me of my man. Happy seven, L! :)

And anyway, HAPPY EASTER for you and for all my friend who celebrate. May His grace always be surrounding us. God bless you. :)

Best Feeling Ever

Last weekend was awesome because I FINALLY (caps lock + bold :p) could get my own quality time for refreshment. On Saturday I got an escape for a little picnic with my man. I tried a downhill track surround his villa (or whatsoever it called) in Cangkringan, Kaliurang with his downhill bike (I feel cool riding it anyway :p), had a delizioso soto for breakfast near his villa, had a long time warm chatting and cuddling, and a short tea time with the villa keeper's family. A super lovely day ever. :)

After that, I went to Creatia's work station to help my friend, Ahong, making a craft project from wool. This was so tiring yet exciting! I love making craft. :D

In the next day I went to Craft Carnival. I was super duper excited because all this time I could only watch their crafts and works from blogs. I also joined a workshop of making postcard from stencil and brush made by Mas Ojan (Nest of Ojanto), my favorite crafter.

 I also bought some old sticker as souvenir for my man and a pocket note book made by Tarlen Handayani that I've just discovered her blog lately. Cool, eh? I love BW coloring and I love a mysterious picture like this. :D

I hope I could join many craft workshops and go to this kind of event as much as possible to appreciate and buy their craft (since I didn't bring much money to last Sunday Craft Carnival *sigh*).

Happiness is the state of mind. You don't wait for it to come, you create one. Do something you really like because you're only live once.Then you're gonna get the best feeling after doing what you like as where your passion run into. -bonscha

So, next project: KNITTING!
:D

October Flies Fast

I kinda lost my rhythm of life lately. My schedule gets messy even I often lose control of my temper (sorry Love, I always put you as my temper victim). I'm working on a yearbook organizer named Colorful Creatia now. On its first year merger with Colorful Photography, we usually have a meeting on late night til early morning because in the afternoon we're busy with our college activities. It's like we set and started everything up from the bottom. I'm happy to work with many young talented, creative, and passionate people.

Beside that, I still challenged myself to accept many activities that propose to me, especially singing. I love to sing, but I don't like the rehearsal. It takes too much time though. And sometimes it becomes exhausting especially when it take place in the night. So I had to divide my nights into several activities such as meetings, rehearsals, and do assignments.

This semester's assignments are cruel. Every subject has their own difficulties of assignments and I sometimes fed up with them. I always did everything in rush and become a last minute person. The big problem is, I have a really bad time management since I'm a kind of yes-man person and it's like I wanna put almost everything as my priority. Bad!

I feel that this semester, especially this month, flies fast. I always hear the radio announcer asking "What's your weekend plan?" in Thursday and read in twitter some people saying "hate to face Monday" on Sunday. It keeps rolling on every week.

I really thank God that I've got a man that can be my personal manager, an understanding friend, a sharing partner, a wise adviser, and a temper and stress reducer. He keeps remind me to limiting the jobs that come to me and also remind me a simple thing such as eat. He is also funny and we usually laugh at our own silly things we did. He hugged me when I'm angry and rub my back anytime I feel tired. Those are my best cure of all bad moods and he always there for me.

Well, this is almost the end of October and I hope next month I could do better than this. More organized and putting the primary activity as my priority. I'll do everything you've suggested me, L. Thanks. :)

A drawing made by me

Physically, I'm Home

But home is you.
Where I can really put my soul into.

#nowplaying Destiny - Homogenic

To be at your side, whenever, wherever
To be in your heart, whenever, wherever

Just made a new header (or logo or whatever it called) yesterday and gave a little touch to here and there, also resizing the pictures. I hope you like it. :) Anyway happy fasting for my Moslem friends. God bless. :)

God's Grand Design

 

 

Kadang kita sering bertanya- tanya "kenapa baru sekarang" atau "kenapa tidak sejak dulu" atas sesuatu yang sebenarnya sudah ada di depan mata namun selama ini kita tidak sadari keberadaannya.

Mungkin jawabannnya,

"Tuhan tidak pernah memberi jalan pintas untuk hidup kita. Kalau kita merasa itu adalah jalan pintas dan kita melewatinya dengan cepat, mungkin kita sedang salah jalan atau di depan kita adalah jalan buntu."

Dan saya rasa, kali ini saya tidak melewati jalan pintas.

Sembilan Belas

Ini tulisan pertama berbahasa Indonesia disini. Semoga tidak salah tata bahasa, semoga tidak jelek dan bertele- tele. Bukan juga berarti tulisan dalam bahasa Inggris saya bagus. Entahlah. Saya tidak pintar menulis. Hanya sepertinya ada yang perlu diungkapkan dengan bahasa ibu seperti layaknya kita bicara dan bertatapan langsung.

Ceritanya ini tulisan untuk menyambut usia kesembilan belas meski sudah lewat jauh dari selebrasi hari H. Cuma ingin berbagi bahwa saya mendapat pelajaran berharga diusia yang sudah lewat kemarin.

Ada dua hal besar bertema sama yang terjadi di usia ke-18. Rentangnya pun tidak begitu jauh. Saya curiga, agaknya Tuhan sengaja. Putus cinta dan ditolak Unit Selam. Haha sebut merek. Biar.

Pertama, putus cinta. Aduh. Cinta- cintaan. Hahaha geli sendiri. Kadang diksi bahasa Indonesia terasa berlebihan dan patut masuk ke kosakata di Kamus Dangdut Nasional kalau ada. Ok, kembali ke topik. Jadi di hubungan yang lalu..... Ah. Sepertinya lebih enak membahas yang "ditolak Unit Selam" dulu. Tuh kan, saya memang tidak berbakat jadi penulis. Begini saja bingung.

Ok. Ditolak Unit Selam. Sudah sejak tahun lalu saya bersugguh- sungguh sangat ingin sekali dengan seluruh jiwa raga dan tekad bulat membara bergabung ke Unit Selam UGM. Karena masih sibuk di organisasi kampus, tahun lalu terpaksa merelakan form pendaftaran dibuang percuma oleh Unit karena tidak ikut seleksi. Tahun ini, mengosongkan kegiatan, dan daftar lagi. Dan akhirnya bisa ikut seleksi. Tapi seleksinya berat, Jendral!!! Dan jujur, saya buruk di seleksi kolam. Hah. Akan selalu menghela nafas berat kalau ingat tidak bisa bergabung disana. Keinginan bergabung yang sudah muncul dari tahun pertama kuliah, keinginan berpetualang ke dalam laut yang muncul sudah sejak umur entah berapa, keinginan yang sudah dicicil dengan beli lomo aquapix (meskipun saya tahu tidak bakal bisa dipakai di laut yang cukup dalam), keinginan yang.............. HAH. Sekarang sudah pupus. Ditolak Unit Selam sempat meluluhkan air mata yang biasanya beku. (Ok, yang ini kalimatnya sangat pop-dangdut)

Dan kurang lebih, itu juga yang terjadi di hubungan "cinta- cintaan" saya yang sebelumnya. Semoga sudah cukup menjelaskan.

Kita seringkali berekspektasi pada suatu hal. Memimpikan akan memiliki suatu hal membayangkan hal tersebut bernar- benar ada dalam hidup kita,yang akhirnya membawa kita berusaha, berjuang untuk mendapatkannya. Tapi kemudian, ekspektasi juga lah yang akan membunuh kita. Melumpuhkan semangat kita. Ya, ekspektasi yang terlalu tinggi. Berekspektasi agar sesuatu yang kita ekspektasikan memberi timbal balik yang sama dengan usaha besar dan ekspektasi tinggi kita. (Terlalu banyak kata ekspektasi. Lagi- lagi saya bukan penulis yang baik).

Awalnya saya berpikir bahwa jika kita benar- benar menginginkan sesuatu maka alam semesta akan berkonspirasi untuk membantu kita mencapai hal itu. Seperti kata- kata di buku motivasi. (Nggak sih, saya nggak baca, cuma tau- tau aja). Dan sejak "dua hal besar" itu terjadi dalam hidup saya, pandangan saya jadi berubah;

Jika kita benar- benar menginginkan sesuatu, maka kemungkinan yang akan terjadi ada dua: alam semesta berkonspirasi untuk membantu kita mencapai hal itu, atau ketika yang terjadi sebaliknya kita akan jatuh dengan kekecewaan yang mendalam.

Kesimpulannya sih, jangan berekspektasi terlalu tinggi pada sesuatu. Sederhana ya. Tapi kadang kita suka kebablasan, tidak mengontrol ekspektasi kita. Risiko pasti akan datang. Namun sesuai dengan kata entah siapa, lebih baik mati mencoba daripada tidak pernah mencoba sama sekali. Better die trying than never try at all. (Saya ndak paham kenapa saya tulis bagian risiko- risiko itu juga. Iya saya tau itu ndak nyambung. Tapi ya sudahlah.)

Saya tidak pintar berbahasa yang baik. Saya tidak bagus terlalu lama "saya-saya-an". Bukan berarti saya cocok "gue-gue-an". Tulisan ini tadinya saya harapkan menjadi sebuah kontemplasi (ah, kata- kaanya terlalu berat). Tapi sepertinya terlalu banyak sampah di sana sini. Iya, saya bukan penulis yang baik dan tidak bisa membuat kalimat penutup yang baik.

Ya sudahlah.
Sekian dan terimakasih.

Selamat datang di usia saya yang kesembilan belas.

Cheesy

Kitten Hunting

Lately, my boyfriend craving to have a cute furry pet. At the end, his decision goes to CAT. He wants a little kitten one. And well, I can only hope that he won't do something harm like squashing or pressing it. -_-

Today we went to some kind of animal market and looking for a cute little kitten. Desperately not finding any good one, I went to Dhea's homey to play with her kitten.
Miawwwwwwww :3

Uh, dear my ugly oily dingy face.. I'm sure this kitten looks much more cute than you

I think I got the same euphoria as him. :3


ps.: this post was actually just for uploading some picts of me and Dhea's kitten :p

Fluctuating Love

Blogging again, finally. Love again, hell-finally. Hahaha sucks! Should I write it here? Ah that's up to you, Bonscha! This place's yours! Pretend that you don't care if he reads it. Ok, let's begin.

A week ago, I felt like I was walking in the air. High, floaty, swinging, and happy. That was a (re-)new feeling of mine to him; a person that since Valentine's Day I've left my feeling behind. I was not confidence, maybe. I thought that he's looking for another type of girl that the personality is too different to me. You know, I stepped back.

As time goes by, I was always comparing every guys who chased me to him. He was all criteria. He was the package. He was the most perfect figure that can't be described by others personality. Stuck on him? Desperately, right! I thought I've really put off my feelings, but in fact he's running around my head. DARN

Then right a week ago, accidentally we were going together. No feelings, at first. As the traffic was jamming and we've got our time longer n we talked much, I was feeling awkward; suddenly realized that all I need is in front of my eyes n like waiting to be caught soon. I tried hard to act casually then. That made me flying in the sky above for a whole week. I'm in love again, I said to myself.

But right on this time, I feel useless! What do I aim? Waiting for someone who doesn't even notice me? STUPID!

"If he's not that worth it to be fight for, leave him! If you've struggled so much but he doesn't even notice and doesn't give any feedback, leave him!" -Nabilla Aghniarizqa

Because we, girls, deserve to get better one even the best.

Well, I think it's better to leave myself at the zero point, that I have feelings to no one. Let love find a way.


spread the love,
good night.
:)

Curious

He could be anywhere.
He could be a person who walked behind me in the mall.
He could be a person who repaired my car.
He could be the guitarist of whatever-band I saw the show.
He could be anything, he could be nobody.
He could be my school-mate, he could be my senior even junior, or.. he could be someone that totally new in my life.

See?
I have no clue.
We all have no clue. Not even one of us.
This is the most mysterious and precious secret of God.

Mate.
Soulmate.

Don't you curious about that?

what. do. you. want.

i always saw a name on my phonebook. i knew all phone-calls wouldn't come by that name.
i secretly checked the old account of my mail. hoped that someday a mail with that name will come.
i silently saw every picture of that name. just to check that the owner of that name is fine right there.

i felt like torn into pieces when you go.
ever i thought that if i need i would just lay on my knees for just begging you to stay.
the first time i almost couldn't handle my tears down and you should congratulate me for that.
but i tried to struggling on my feeling and said "Ok, please go enjoy your world."

it's like a long long wait.
i almost bored for this.
i have been being bored, actually.
like i almost forget that i'm waiting.

the day has come. accidentally come. suddenly come.
"SNAP!"
like a bird back to its nest, you came back to me.

but i ain't like the nest who'd always waiting 'till i become old dry branches.
waiting for just being left again and again by the bird.

because i'm not branches.
i'm a human being.

i have a life to live.
not only for being left but to fulfill with things i love.

and i'm sure of my decision,
that YOU ARE NOT on the list of things-i-love.

bye.

there must be something wrong between you and i that makes the world stop spinning,
at least in our own universe.

nothing lost but the gravity.

notice this!

Buat Kamu - Syaharani

bintang2 tak bicara
walaupun seribu nada
kau nyanyikan malam ini

kau tau cinta bukan tabir kata
tak perlu kau tunggu slamanya
kau impikan malam ini

reff:
tak perlu dekat jika hati bisa rasakan hadirnya
tak perlu terungkap sebab hidup rahasia
bagiku cukup untuk nikmati apa yang ada dan terjadi
semua kan mengerti




this song means a lot for me. especially now. :')

crowded

the room's filled already. but too much people inside! too crowded!
and i can feel my head's spinning and i can't breathe well.
i'm weak and limp.
thanks for hurting.

“When it comes to affairs of love and hurt, you have to wait for your heart to learn what your head already knows, then You can break free”

empty

don't ever think that being lonely and empty is stifling.
emptiness sometimes worth
or at least don't make it worse

this is actually a self-suggestion. yes, for myself. i feel like losing something that i haven't even get it yet. give up? almost. i'm an inch to the despair line.