Eid Mubarrak 1431 H

Smile everyone! The victory day has come! :D

Well, it's already 5 days late from the Eid day itself. But however, I would like to apologize to everyone that ever hurt by my attitude directly or by my wiritings here. We're all back to zero, key? ;)

Anyway, happy holiday everybody!

Enjoy your last free-days and charge your soul, body, and mind before hit the hectic college months.

:)

ps. : I do really hope that we can see next year's Ramadhan with all of our beloved persons healthy and completely. Hope His grace always be surrouding us and our family. Amen. :)

When The Tears Down..

don’t pretend to be who you are really not.

laugh if you trully want.

cry if you need it.

scream if you’re burdened.

don’t place me as your reason. don’t keep me as a burden. it’s just sad.

original post from Sinta Prastiana's tumblr [link]

Well. From the first time I read this post, it was like "BANG!" I was shot right on my head. You know, we often pretend that we're fine and keep smiling to people while we're actually fragile and even broken. Ok, me. I often do that.

I'm not a kinda person who can express my sadness easily. I can't cry that easy. So far, I was crying out loud when my brother and my granma passed away (and when I was in a huge anger, too). The rest, my tears could only hang on the eyelis. It's stifling. Really stifling. Like you just got punch on your chest and the pain wouldn't just go for hours. Even days.

Then, I was suggesting.. and I was pretending.. that I was strong. Yeah, I thought I was that strong before I read this post. I'm learning myself and found that I actually sensitive and fragile but I always try to ignore it.

Well, for some cases, I chose to not cry. Like, "boy cases". These years, I've ever been betrayed.. cheated.. stabbed.. and I wasn't cry. It's my principal thought to not cry for a boy. But after years (and after reading that post above), I feel that those burdens are actually need to be exploded. Need to be burned right after you feel it.

I'm craving for cry, actually. I tried to hide my face on the pillow when I'm sad and get my pain out of my chest. But still, I failed to cry. I keep on my positive thinking that smiling could melt my sadness and gives some positive energies to my heart. But after while, it seems like.. sometimes positive thinking and foolish have only a thin and slight border.

Ummm.. so, I appreciate everyone who could cry easily. At least you've burned some of your burdens. And yah, don't forget to move on then.

Cheers! :)

Another Random Mumbling

Well..

Yeah..

Hmm..

What?????

I actually don't know what to say. I kinda miss write and post something here. :p

Hmm.. Okay, let's find out what thing suddenly pops-up on my mind.

3

2

1

FUNERAL

Hahaaa really. That's the only thing hits my mind.

Well, I actually never think that I'm gonna have a long life. I don't know. Sometimes, it seems like death is close to me. Disesase spreads more dangerous and killing people worse and worse nowadays. Who knows that I actually got a horrible disease in my body? Who knows I got cancer or whatsoever thing grows inside my body?

Hahaa, okay. Don't take it too serious. It's just a random mumbling. I don't wanna die this soon, really. And this is not a goodbye-post. I hope. Hahaa.

I'm thinking, will there many people come to my funeral?

Be good, and you'll be treated good.

The 21st and the 3rd

ps.: Sorry I couldn't play the harmonica. I was just... um... I had not enough confidence to show it to you. I was nervous and my hands was trembling so bad though I've played it thousand times all day, and even a minute just before I called you. Poor me. :(
And.. I know I wasn't the first person who sent you birthday wishes, but I'm trying to be the LAST person who close your day with this wish. HBD Love, have a blast, have a long life. :)