GOODNIGHT DIMMER

End of January?

2012-01-31T07:44:00.001+07:00

Are you kidding me? Is it already the last day of this first month?? Oh man, the time flies too fast even I haven't start to plan for next steps. It's like, it's just yesterday when I came home after my short trip to Kediri on the new year's eve . Then I was getting through the exam weeks. And then felt the euphoria of holiday. And now this is already the end of January tat also means the holiday will end soon!

So, it's cloudy when I write this. An uncommon condition that it's almost 8 o'clock in the morning and the sun still not coming out. Yesterdays, we had sun in the morning, wind in the afternoon, and rain in the evening. Typical and almost everyday. Well, I hope the earlier days of February will come with nice weather especially in South-east Asia region. I'm planning for a vacation with my friends. I do really hope that the flights will be fine and the things we do there will be fun. Hope rain won't ruin everything.

Haha I'm not really good at writing. Even this post has no particular meaning actually. I was just waking up too early in this slow and free day (like about 5 or 5:30 am.) and don't know what to do after writing some notes of to-do list for today. Maybe I'll just cuddling with the cats and make some breakfast after this. Hope you enjoy your day as well. :)

And yeah. I'll upload a special picture of me and my cat. My favorite picture lately. Tadaaa!


Cruela-wanna be. No, he's not dead. I just put him over my shoulder to make it looks like a fur shawl.

Bye! :D

Sketching

2012-01-09T00:20:00.002+07:00

Ok, the final exam week has began already. But I don't know why I have no chemistry to study or even doing my final papers. I'm a deadliner and a procrastinator. The brilliant ideas to be written on won't be coming till the deadline is really close. So I just spent this D-1 final exam for blog-walking and tada! I discovered a blog that really inspiring me and put her as my role model right away. Rach from VizBasix.

I like sketching but I can't sketch. Hahaha. I didn't know how to start and who to follow. From her blog I found a link of sketching tutorial. So today, I've already made 2 sketches. First one is the sketch I follow her tutorial. And the second one is the sketch of Clara Devi in her old archive (I really meant to sketch her but I think the result is way to far from the original photo HAHAHA). Well, I don't feel confidence with the result but I think this is a good start. :p


Crudely retouched in photoshop. Somebody please teach meeeeee!!! :O

I remembered my childhood dream when I was sketching. Not engineer or doctor or even president as many kids dreaming. I was dreaming to be a.... *uhuk*... A fashion designer. GAHAHAHAHA the dream that is not reflecting myself now; my lifestyle, my dressing style, and my careless-and-a-bit-boyish attitude. :))

Ok, that's all for today. I'll try to study anything tonight. Ciao!

Two Thousand and Twelve

2012-01-04T15:25:00.002+07:00

Well, I hope this is not too late to say but.. Happy new year everyone! :)

Everyone doesn't stop guessing and predicting what will happen in 2012. Instead of that, let's hope for a joyful year with a better life for all of us.

I spent the new year's eve with mom and dad in a small and quite town; the town where I grew up till I was 4 years old: Kediri. It was not bad at all. I found no crowded streets, traffic jams, overwhelming people's yells, and all those rush things that happened in my city because it's one of the most travel destinations people usually go. Went to that small town is a good escape anyway.

The last cloudy twilight on 2011

Raining all over the night

Thank God the rain stopped few minutes before 12 am.

The Last Month

2011-12-25T00:44:00.002+07:00

Here I am in the silent night. A literally silent, not in the condition of silence in deep sincerity of worship or silent night as a gospel. I'm sad. That's why I don't play any songs or turn my radio up. I've just lost Shila this evening. I've tried to find her anywhere. I walk through the street in front of my house and found nothing. I've looked for her in every corner of my house, and still found nothing. Hope you'll be okay wherever you are, Shila. Surely me, mom, Chimo, and your kids will be missing your mew, your cheerful run, and the warm attention and protection to your kids. :'(

Well, anyway, Merry Christmas to you all who celebrates. May the love from heaven spread and sent to all of us. :)

New year is only few days away from now. Gonna prepare some targets and resolutions for the next year so I could manage my life better. And yeah, this will be my first movement of making this kind of thing. :-S

Loving You Tonight

2011-12-05T07:53:00.001+07:00

And I'll say hey,
You'll say baby, Hows your day
I'll say crazy,
But its all gonna be alright

You'll kiss my smile,
I'll pull you closer,
Spend awhile just gettin' to know ya,
But its all gonna be alright,
Loving you tonight

I once listened to this song yesterday on my ride back home after my university softball league. I stunned and tried to listen carefully on every word Andrew Allen sang. Surprisingly, this song is really me. I don't care whether it's only gonna be a top40 song which means it won't exist or still good to listen for long time, this song is really reflecting what happened to me and my man. I'll come to him everyday, telling these and those about my activities with my burdened face, while he's smiling listen to me, saying that everything will be okay.

I messed up my Research Method individual presentation last week. That was kinda crap situation when the lecturer slaughtering my work. That's my worst worst presentation ever in my school age. Then I came to his house right away after class, almost crying before caught his house and finally see his face and he calmed me down.

I don't know how he could be much calmer than me in facing problems. That makes me look selfish when I'm grumble too much to him. "Venus and Mars" rules?

Colorsplash

2011-11-14T01:24:00.001+07:00

pictures taken using Lomo Colorsplash

Karya Video Pertama

2011-11-10T23:04:00.001+07:00

Jadi postingan ini adalah perpaduan antara iseng- iseng posting gara- gara bosen browsing dan mempermalukan diri sendiri atas karya yang pas- pasan ini.

Dengan berbekal DSLR pinjaman, lensa fix (yang alhamdulillah) milik sendiri, plus peralatan editing cupu seadanya (Ulead), akhirnya jadilah video teaser untuk Colorful Creatia ini. Sayangnya pada hari H saya nggak bawa tripod atau monopod plus waktu itu saya sedang masuk angin akut sampai melakukan gerakan-gerakan aneh bak cacing kremi yang pada akhirnya berujung K.O. dan minta tolong Ardhana, partner kerja saya, untuk mengantar pulang di tengah- tengah sesi pemotretan.

Minta saran, kritik, dan komennya ya. Atau sekedar mampir-mampir nonton videonya juga nggak papa. :)

Greetings from Backyard

2011-10-29T22:43:00.002+07:00

Kepo. It turned to be Aji's, Dhea's bf, just tonight. Bye Kepo..

Jarwo. My man's favorite. The male and the pure-black one. :3


Snowy. The only white kitty & the thinnest one.

Belang. I have no idea for her name. Just call her "belang" that means stripes in English.

Anybody wants to take care of them? Just call me. :)

Best Feeling Ever

2011-10-25T23:37:00.003+07:00

Last weekend was awesome because I FINALLY (caps lock + bold :p) could get my own quality time for refreshment. On Saturday I got an escape for a little picnic with my man. I tried a downhill track surround his villa (or whatsoever it called) in Cangkringan, Kaliurang with his downhill bike (I feel cool riding it anyway :p), had a delizioso soto for breakfast near his villa, had a long time warm chatting and cuddling, and a short tea time with the villa keeper's family. A super lovely day ever. :)

After that, I went to Creatia's work station to help my friend, Ahong, making a craft project from wool. This was so tiring yet exciting! I love making craft. :D

In the next day I went to Craft Carnival. I was super duper excited because all this time I could only watch their crafts and works from blogs. I also joined a workshop of making postcard from stencil and brush made by Mas Ojan (Nest of Ojanto), my favorite crafter.

I also bought some old sticker as souvenir for my man and a pocket note book made by Tarlen Handayani that I've just discovered her blog lately. Cool, eh? I love BW coloring and I love a mysterious picture like this. :D

I hope I could join many craft workshops and go to this kind of event as much as possible to appreciate and buy their craft (since I didn't bring much money to last Sunday Craft Carnival *sigh*).

Happiness is the state of mind. You don't wait for it to come, you create one. Do something you really like because you're only live once.Then you're gonna get the best feeling after doing what you like as where your passion run into. -bonscha

So, next project: KNITTING!
:D

October Flies Fast

2011-10-25T23:05:00.004+07:00

I kinda lost my rhythm of life lately. My schedule gets messy even I often lose control of my temper (sorry Love, I always put you as my temper victim). I'm working on a yearbook organizer named Colorful Creatia now. On its first year merger with Colorful Photography, we usually have a meeting on late night til early morning because in the afternoon we're busy with our college activities. It's like we set and started everything up from the bottom. I'm happy to work with many young talented, creative, and passionate people.

Beside that, I still challenged myself to accept many activities that propose to me, especially singing. I love to sing, but I don't like the rehearsal. It takes too much time though. And sometimes it becomes exhausting especially when it take place in the night. So I had to divide my nights into several activities such as meetings, rehearsals, and do assignments.

This semester's assignments are cruel. Every subject has their own difficulties of assignments and I sometimes fed up with them. I always did everything in rush and become a last minute person. The big problem is, I have a really bad time management since I'm a kind of yes-man person and it's like I wanna put almost everything as my priority. Bad!

I feel that this semester, especially this month, flies fast. I always hear the radio announcer asking "What's your weekend plan?" in Thursday and read in twitter some people saying "hate to face Monday" on Sunday. It keeps rolling on every week.

I really thank God that I've got a man that can be my personal manager, an understanding friend, a sharing partner, a wise adviser, and a temper and stress reducer. He keeps remind me to limiting the jobs that come to me and also remind me a simple thing such as eat. He is also funny and we usually laugh at our own silly things we did. He hugged me when I'm angry and rub my back anytime I feel tired. Those are my best cure of all bad moods and he always there for me.

Well, this is almost the end of October and I hope next month I could do better than this. More organized and putting the primary activity as my priority. I'll do everything you've suggested me, L. Thanks. :)

A drawing made by me

#nowplaying Home To You - Tortured Soul

2011-10-25T09:25:00.000+07:00

I know you're there for me even when you're angry
I don't need to yell you "no I'm sorry baby"
when I get back you know we have to make up
I'll come and whisper to you "baby wake up"

I can't wait to get home to you
without your love nothing feels quite right

A cool band that always reminds me of my lovely talented drummer everytime I listen to their songs. Maybe they have a similar beat of drum play or something. imy L :)

Annual Ritual

2011-09-05T11:43:00.006+07:00

May His grace and joy always be surrounding us, our family, and our beloved persons so we can meet and enjoy next year's Ramadhan and Eid Mubarrak togehter with them.

Happy Eid Mubarrak 1432 Hijriah
:)

Physically, I'm Home

2011-09-03T23:24:00.004+07:00

But home is you.
Where I can really put my soul into.

3:59 pm.

2011-08-24T12:26:00.007+07:00

Random pictures taken in June 29, 2011
on my backyard.

#nowplaying Destiny - Homogenic

2011-08-01T20:28:00.006+07:00

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To be at your side, whenever, wherever
To be in your heart, whenever, wherever

Just made a new header (or logo or whatever it called) yesterday and gave a little touch to here and there, also resizing the pictures. I hope you like it. :) Anyway happy fasting for my Moslem friends. God bless. :)

Efek Rumah Kaca

2011-07-08T01:01:00.018+07:00

The session of having fun, in the mood of practicing and miss to press my shutter button in some concert or gig. Here they are.

I don't know why the committees (or whosoever behind the sets) used red light most of time, especially to the drummer and guitarist. The spot light only shone to the vocalist. Those red lights made some distractions and dis-focused to the pictures taken. Dislike! But this is the challenge; to learn how to reduce effects of red light. Read Todd Owyoung's tips about dealing with the red light here.

Anyway, tell me if you have information about some upcoming gigs or concerts via comment in here or twitter :)

The Fourth of July

2011-07-04T00:00:00.002+07:00

"Men are like wine: some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age"

By now, you're turning to be twenty. The age of, people say, maturity.

Dream high, struggle more, and learn much. Reach your dream and never be afraid to fall, as you thought me. I wish you can be more and more creative, wise, mature, patient, and every-single-good-thing of you can be raised well.

Wishing you happiness today and always.
:)

ps.: Got inspired by Theo's drawing on his blog. I tried to made one in couple weeks ago and decided to upload it in the "good" time. Heheh

#nowplaying Carnival - The Cardigans

2011-06-27T22:51:00.003+07:00

come on and love me now, come on and love me now

Economics Jazz 2011

2011-06-19T23:54:00.015+07:00

Well, I actually don't know what to do in this bad Sunday morning. Parents are going and leave myself alone at home. Considering that I haven't post anything this month, I'm thinking about to share some picts of my last event, Economics Jazz 2011 (EJ2011). But you know, I don't think I really want to share the pictures I took during the EJ2011 show. I didn't do my best.

So I'll just share some pictures of the committees and pre-event.

Day minus one

The Day

See ya on the next event! :)

God's Grand Design

2011-05-13T23:47:00.013+07:00

Kadang kita sering bertanya- tanya "kenapa baru sekarang" atau "kenapa tidak sejak dulu" atas sesuatu yang sebenarnya sudah ada di depan mata namun selama ini kita tidak sadari keberadaannya.

Mungkin jawabannnya,

"Tuhan tidak pernah memberi jalan pintas untuk hidup kita. Kalau kita merasa itu adalah jalan pintas dan kita melewatinya dengan cepat, mungkin kita sedang salah jalan atau di depan kita adalah jalan buntu."

Dan saya rasa, kali ini saya tidak melewati jalan pintas.

#nowplaying Fight For Future

2011-05-09T23:06:00.008+07:00

So much to say but i wont make it quick
I lose my mind each time i look at your eyes
So why dont you close them?

And all those sleepless night
Reminds me of one thing though
How fast time passes us by
So why dont we hold them?

I'll fight the future for you maybe
I'll fight the future for you maybe
I'll fight the future for you maybe
I'll fight the future for you maybe

I'm passing this old neighborhood
and see how it meant to you
I'm hoping you'll be there
I'm hoping you'll be there

I'll fight the future for you maybe
I'll fight the future for you maybe
I'll fight the future for you maybe
I'll fight the future for you maybe

And hope we'll reach morning
I thought you saw it too
I'll fight the future for you maybe

The Trees And The Wild

Play Time

2011-05-03T22:10:00.016+07:00

Born: April 16, 2011 ♥

Kontemplasi

2011-05-02T22:51:00.002+07:00

Pada awalnya semua akan terasa sangat berat.

Sangat berat.

Namun ketika kamu sudah bisa menertawakan kepedihanmu di masa lalu,

berarti kamu sudah siap untuk bergerak maju.

Formspring

2011-03-22T05:20:00.002+07:00

I hope it's not too late to play formspring. Hahaha.
I've just re-actived this account since my very first and my last visit several months ago for signing up.

Let's play! Let's have fun!
I'll answer your question.

Ask me anything :p

http://www.formspring.me/bonscha

ps.: don't be too serious ;)

A Grown Up Chimo

2011-03-21T03:21:00.009+07:00

He's got his mate now.

She's Shila (but I prefer call her Chila just to make their initial the same, Chimo and Chila).

And now I'm feeling like an upcoming grandma.
:')

♥

ESQI:EF

2011-03-18T21:20:00.009+07:00

Shots on Ngayogjazz 2011
January 15, 2011

My favorite performer :)

Sembilan Belas

2011-03-18T03:33:00.003+07:00

Ini tulisan pertama berbahasa Indonesia disini. Semoga tidak salah tata bahasa, semoga tidak jelek dan bertele- tele. Bukan juga berarti tulisan dalam bahasa Inggris saya bagus. Entahlah. Saya tidak pintar menulis. Hanya sepertinya ada yang perlu diungkapkan dengan bahasa ibu seperti layaknya kita bicara dan bertatapan langsung.

Ceritanya ini tulisan untuk menyambut usia kesembilan belas meski sudah lewat jauh dari selebrasi hari H. Cuma ingin berbagi bahwa saya mendapat pelajaran berharga diusia yang sudah lewat kemarin.

Ada dua hal besar bertema sama yang terjadi di usia ke-18. Rentangnya pun tidak begitu jauh. Saya curiga, agaknya Tuhan sengaja. Putus cinta dan ditolak Unit Selam. Haha sebut merek. Biar.

Pertama, putus cinta. Aduh. Cinta- cintaan. Hahaha geli sendiri. Kadang diksi bahasa Indonesia terasa berlebihan dan patut masuk ke kosakata di Kamus Dangdut Nasional kalau ada. Ok, kembali ke topik. Jadi di hubungan yang lalu..... Ah. Sepertinya lebih enak membahas yang "ditolak Unit Selam" dulu. Tuh kan, saya memang tidak berbakat jadi penulis. Begini saja bingung.

Ok. Ditolak Unit Selam. Sudah sejak tahun lalu saya bersugguh- sungguh sangat ingin sekali dengan seluruh jiwa raga dan tekad bulat membara bergabung ke Unit Selam UGM. Karena masih sibuk di organisasi kampus, tahun lalu terpaksa merelakan form pendaftaran dibuang percuma oleh Unit karena tidak ikut seleksi. Tahun ini, mengosongkan kegiatan, dan daftar lagi. Dan akhirnya bisa ikut seleksi. Tapi seleksinya berat, Jendral!!! Dan jujur, saya buruk di seleksi kolam. Hah. Akan selalu menghela nafas berat kalau ingat tidak bisa bergabung disana. Keinginan bergabung yang sudah muncul dari tahun pertama kuliah, keinginan berpetualang ke dalam laut yang muncul sudah sejak umur entah berapa, keinginan yang sudah dicicil dengan beli lomo aquapix (meskipun saya tahu tidak bakal bisa dipakai di laut yang cukup dalam), keinginan yang.............. HAH. Sekarang sudah pupus. Ditolak Unit Selam sempat meluluhkan air mata yang biasanya beku. (Ok, yang ini kalimatnya sangat pop-dangdut)

Dan kurang lebih, itu juga yang terjadi di hubungan "cinta- cintaan" saya yang sebelumnya. Semoga sudah cukup menjelaskan.

Kita seringkali berekspektasi pada suatu hal. Memimpikan akan memiliki suatu hal membayangkan hal tersebut bernar- benar ada dalam hidup kita,yang akhirnya membawa kita berusaha, berjuang untuk mendapatkannya. Tapi kemudian, ekspektasi juga lah yang akan membunuh kita. Melumpuhkan semangat kita. Ya, ekspektasi yang terlalu tinggi. Berekspektasi agar sesuatu yang kita ekspektasikan memberi timbal balik yang sama dengan usaha besar dan ekspektasi tinggi kita. (Terlalu banyak kata ekspektasi. Lagi- lagi saya bukan penulis yang baik).

Awalnya saya berpikir bahwa jika kita benar- benar menginginkan sesuatu maka alam semesta akan berkonspirasi untuk membantu kita mencapai hal itu. Seperti kata- kata di buku motivasi. (Nggak sih, saya nggak baca, cuma tau- tau aja). Dan sejak "dua hal besar" itu terjadi dalam hidup saya, pandangan saya jadi berubah;

Jika kita benar- benar menginginkan sesuatu, maka kemungkinan yang akan terjadi ada dua: alam semesta berkonspirasi untuk membantu kita mencapai hal itu, atau ketika yang terjadi sebaliknya kita akan jatuh dengan kekecewaan yang mendalam.

Kesimpulannya sih, jangan berekspektasi terlalu tinggi pada sesuatu. Sederhana ya. Tapi kadang kita suka kebablasan, tidak mengontrol ekspektasi kita. Risiko pasti akan datang. Namun sesuai dengan kata entah siapa, lebih baik mati mencoba daripada tidak pernah mencoba sama sekali. Better die trying than never try at all. (Saya ndak paham kenapa saya tulis bagian risiko- risiko itu juga. Iya saya tau itu ndak nyambung. Tapi ya sudahlah.)

Saya tidak pintar berbahasa yang baik. Saya tidak bagus terlalu lama "saya-saya-an". Bukan berarti saya cocok "gue-gue-an". Tulisan ini tadinya saya harapkan menjadi sebuah kontemplasi (ah, kata- kaanya terlalu berat). Tapi sepertinya terlalu banyak sampah di sana sini. Iya, saya bukan penulis yang baik dan tidak bisa membuat kalimat penutup yang baik.

Ya sudahlah.
Sekian dan terimakasih.

Selamat datang di usia saya yang kesembilan belas.

:)

2011-02-04T07:30:00.000+07:00

HAHA. Well, I don't know how to start. But... you know. This is ultimately funny. The fact is, I write this right after I broke up with my boyfriend. Yap. It ends. It has just ended.

This is so painful for me since I'm actually still loving him. And... this is so true, bold, and deep (too much information, uh? :p) But yeah.. I think this is the best way. Hahhhhhhh..

We've kept on silence for more than a week. I was angry, and he did that too. We were arguing. But then, after those nine-silent-days, we got a chat on Yahoo Messenger (yes, I propose to break up by chat HOAHAHAHA), I... I don't know why after that all I can do just... haha.. Laugh! Isn't it funny? (it's ok if you say crazy)

I was.. trembling. And yes, crying. But now, after we know that we could be better this way, all I can do is just.. smiling. Smile for those losing burdens, smile for a better relationship, and smile for this kind of new friendship. Let say "it refreshed". Yay!! :D

Ok. This is just a spontaneous post. Pardon my bad grammar. I'm still... HAHAHA you know. *wiping tears* ----> dramatizing LOL

At last, thank you Muhamad Archard Taufan Janitra. For those sadness, pains, hurts, suffers, sickness, aches........ (Wait. Did I only mention the bad things? HAHAHA no no, that totally kidding. Don't take it too serious. You know me. :p)
Ok, once again...

THANKS!

ps.: I said thankyou but why I display my present for you? That place should be for your present for me, right? Hahaha

Quote from Buddy

2011-01-19T23:17:00.004+07:00

"Dogs will be dogs, and most dogs will bark, whine, and howl at times"

Adisasmita

ps.: see who's barking?

Hi Chimo!

2011-01-10T02:33:00.008+07:00

We're gonna have our quality time and

playing all day long after this exam weeks over.

We'll meet the holiday soon.

♥

Post-Midnight Quote

2011-01-10T02:32:00.000+07:00

"The only way to get over someone is to get under someone else."

Gossip Girl

New Year 2011

2010-12-31T18:08:00.012+07:00

I still remember the memories of last year's new year's eve.
Me with my best friends were gathering and made a little party.
That night, I went home earlier. Dad forbid me to sleep over.

2010,
The time's running so fast.
The ups, the downs.
Failed, succeed.
Reporting Java Jazz Festival, and then become the photographer of UGM BNI Jazz.
Another job for capturing moment on Economics Jazz Live and the Discover Indonesia Orchestra.

Met my new family, Economics Session Band.

pict by Dhea Laras

2010,
Fallin love, chasing, and stepped back.
Dumped the bastard, and then forgive him.
And then fallin love again, and having a big eager to make it long lasting.

"We fight, we break up. We kiss, we make up"
Thakyou for fulfilling the emptiness in this half year.

2010,
was really a maturity year.
It's also a year that I saw many dramas in my life, and learn how to not generalized all the good people.
Good always good, but there are also many devils behind the good faces. Just for my note to be careful.

2011.
It'll be coming tonight.
As what I did last year, I'll enjoy it with my best friend.
And daddy allows me to sleep over. The biggest difference between last year and the present.
This is what I call maturity.
Am 18, and I have more responsibility to take in the next year on 19.

I've wrote some resolution for 2011. The thing I was never done before.
Hope I can write here very soon in order to remind me during next year.

Bye all! I've got to go.
Enjoy your party.
Party safe.

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2011

Just Saying Hi

2010-11-01T01:59:00.010+07:00

Well, long time not writing here. College were a bit more crazy this semester. And I actually still have some stocks of stage-photo to upload and pictures from several events held in my campus that I really want to share here. But since my computer's power goes down and it works SLOWLY, I couldn't do much. Photoshop doesn't work well. The worst shit happened lately, I lost my external harddisk. Means that I lost my old pictures, Java Jazz, Ngayogjazz, and most of my earlier photographs. Pathetic. :(

Ok, forget about sadness. Let's move on. By the way, now I really in the mood of making video with DSLR. Many inspirations come and I don't know why they look SUPER COOL even the maker said that that's the worst video they made. The worst still looks good if it taken by DSLR, in my opinion. Unfortunately, I haven't got one. So, my #novemberwish would be : God please send down a Canon 7D or Nikon D300 to me. HAHA

This is one of my favorite video. I like both of the video and song. When you're in love, every love song seems suit you. And I think this suits me enough.

Or am I too in love?
♥

QOTD

2010-10-15T00:33:00.002+07:00

"The more things seem to change, the more they stay the same"

Corrine Bailey Ray

Economics Jazz Live 14th

2010-10-01T02:34:00.010+07:00

Here In Your Arms

2010-09-25T01:10:00.002+07:00

I like where we are,
When we drive, in your car
I like where we are.... Here

Cause our lips, can touch
And our cheeks, can brush
Our lips can touch here

Well you are the one, the one that lies close to me
Whisper's "Hello, I've missed you quite terribly"
I fell in love, in love with you suddenly
Now there's no place else I could be but here in your arms

I like where you sleep,
When you sleep, next to me.
I like where you sleep... here

Our lips, can touch
And our cheeks, can brush
Our lips can touch here

Eid Mubarrak 1431 H

2010-09-15T15:42:00.005+07:00

Smile everyone! The victory day has come! :D

Well, it's already 5 days late from the Eid day itself. But however, I would like to apologize to everyone that ever hurt by my attitude directly or by my wiritings here. We're all back to zero, key? ;)

Anyway, happy holiday everybody!

Enjoy your last free-days and charge your soul, body, and mind before hit the hectic college months.

ps. : I do really hope that we can see next year's Ramadhan with all of our beloved persons healthy and completely. Hope His grace always be surrouding us and our family. Amen. :)

When The Tears Down..

2010-09-05T23:37:00.009+07:00

don’t pretend to be who you are really not.
laugh if you trully want.
cry if you need it.
scream if you’re burdened.
don’t place me as your reason. don’t keep me as a burden. it’s just sad.

original post from Sinta Prastiana's tumblr [link]

Well. From the first time I read this post, it was like "BANG!" I was shot right on my head. You know, we often pretend that we're fine and keep smiling to people while we're actually fragile and even broken. Ok, me. I often do that.

I'm not a kinda person who can express my sadness easily. I can't cry that easy. So far, I was crying out loud when my brother and my granma passed away (and when I was in a huge anger, too). The rest, my tears could only hang on the eyelis. It's stifling. Really stifling. Like you just got punch on your chest and the pain wouldn't just go for hours. Even days.

Then, I was suggesting.. and I was pretending.. that I was strong. Yeah, I thought I was that strong before I read this post. I'm learning myself and found that I actually sensitive and fragile but I always try to ignore it.

Well, for some cases, I chose to not cry. Like, "boy cases". These years, I've ever been betrayed.. cheated.. stabbed.. and I wasn't cry. It's my principal thought to not cry for a boy. But after years (and after reading that post above), I feel that those burdens are actually need to be exploded. Need to be burned right after you feel it.

I'm craving for cry, actually. I tried to hide my face on the pillow when I'm sad and get my pain out of my chest. But still, I failed to cry. I keep on my positive thinking that smiling could melt my sadness and gives some positive energies to my heart. But after while, it seems like.. sometimes positive thinking and foolish have only a thin and slight border.

Ummm.. so, I appreciate everyone who could cry easily. At least you've burned some of your burdens. And yah, don't forget to move on then.

Cheers! :)

Another Random Mumbling

2010-09-03T23:16:00.003+07:00

Well..

Yeah..

Hmm..

What?????

I actually don't know what to say. I kinda miss write and post something here. :p

Hmm.. Okay, let's find out what thing suddenly pops-up on my mind.

FUNERAL

Hahaaa really. That's the only thing hits my mind.

Well, I actually never think that I'm gonna have a long life. I don't know. Sometimes, it seems like death is close to me. Disesase spreads more dangerous and killing people worse and worse nowadays. Who knows that I actually got a horrible disease in my body? Who knows I got cancer or whatsoever thing grows inside my body?

Hahaa, okay. Don't take it too serious. It's just a random mumbling. I don't wanna die this soon, really. And this is not a goodbye-post. I hope. Hahaa.

I'm thinking, will there many people come to my funeral?

Be good, and you'll be treated good.

The 21st and the 3rd

2010-08-20T23:58:00.002+07:00

ps.: Sorry I couldn't play the harmonica. I was just... um... I had not enough confidence to show it to you. I was nervous and my hands was trembling so bad though I've played it thousand times all day, and even a minute just before I called you. Poor me. :(
And.. I know I wasn't the first person who sent you birthday wishes, but I'm trying to be the LAST person who close your day with this wish. HBD Love, have a blast, have a long life. :)

#random mumbling 2

2010-08-13T02:49:00.007+07:00

Thankyou for always listening and successfully make me feel guilty by never listen You back.
Thankyou for welcoming me on Your door anytime I need shelter, then finally regret the way I often close my door for You.
Thankyou for calming me down by Your mysteriously-magical way whenever I need.
And thankyou for Your surprisingly-beyond-the-thoughts answers.

Well, I'm totally not Your good kid but... Let me just say thanks for everything.

ps.: Never get bored to my stories, ok? It's always nice to talk with You. Can we meet again tomorrow? ;-)

Cheesy (part 2)

2010-08-08T23:18:00.005+07:00

"What a difference a day made, twenty four little hours
Brought the sun and the flowers where there use to be rain
My yesterday was blue dear
Today I'm a part of you dear
My lonely nights are through dear
Since you said you were mine
Oh, what a difference a day made
There's a rainbow before me
Skies above can't be stormy since that moment of bliss
That thrilling kiss"

"You'll never know how slow the moments go till I'm near to you
I see your face in every flower
Your eyes in stars above
It's just the thought of you
The very thought of you"

Moving On

2010-08-02T23:48:00.007+07:00

This is a new song from a young talented jazz singer, Andien.

For those who are just betrayed or broken heart... or maybe still remembering the same one, change your mellow and sad songs on your playlist NOW! Try to listen something that gives and suggests you positive energy. Just like this song; Moving On. :)

ps.: This post is dedicated to my bestie Melati Adriansyah who's on her way moving on. Even she made her own hastag on twitter, #MoM, or "Move on, Melati". I like her spirit, by the way. And for you Sist, you have to enjoy your last month on Karimunjawa with anything fun. Kamuja is heaven, you know. You should do random things like what Andien did on this video. Trust me, random things always surprising. You should come home with a moved-on heart. Promise me you will! Can't wait to see you on Ardia's call box. :) Go #MoM!

Huge world for a cutie-little creature

2010-07-28T01:31:00.002+07:00

Hello world! I'm Chimory :)

Hi pals! Remember my previous post about kitten-hunting? Yap, and.. after a quite long research and several hunts, finally me and bf found this cutie furry little creature. TADAA! :D

We gave it a name, Chimory, as Dhea's suggestion. Cimo has been about 2 weeks living with my bf in his dorm, and on its 3rd week, it moved to my homey because it's now on "fungi-treatment"(or what-so-ever it called since I ain't a vet).

I think that's all. It's just a quick-post to introduce you my new lover. Mmmh.. Gonna grab my teddy-bear and Cimo to finally fly to the dreamland soon.
Goodnight pals :)

Joyeux deux mois l'anniversaire!

2010-07-20T23:03:00.007+07:00

ps. : both of my Photoshop and Corel are broken. This is not the artwork I expected before. The minimalist one. I've got lots of ideas on my mind but my tools, hell unfortunately, are broken. *sigh* :(
Hey, happy 2 months anniversary anyway! Xoxo

Cheesy

2010-07-08T23:29:00.005+07:00

Quote from Eclips Movie

2010-07-04T23:18:00.007+07:00

"When we were five, they asked us what we wanted to be when we grew up. Our answers were thing like astronaut, president, or in my case… princess.

When we were ten, they asked again and we answered - rock star, cowboy, or in my case, gold medalist. But now that we've grown up, they want a serious answer. Well, how 'bout this: who the hell knows?!

This isn't the time to make hard and fast decisions, its time to make mistakes. Take the wrong train and get stuck somewhere chill. Fall in love... a lot.

Major in philosophy 'cause there's no way to make a career out of that. Change your mind. Then change it again, because nothing is permanent.

So make as many mistakes as you can. That way, someday, when they ask again what we want to be… we won't have to guess. We'll know."-- Jessica's Valedictorian

ps.: I didn't really get the idea of other cheesy dialogues. Well, I actually don't really like them. The only words I love are come from Jessica's speech on the graduation. So yeah, I don't write the cheesy quotes anyway. :)

#random mumbling

2010-07-04T23:04:00.000+07:00

I'm talking in my heart. Hope you can hear it through your heart.
Words never good enough to deliver my thoughts.

Every Beginning Has Its End

2010-06-28T21:48:00.005+07:00

Yesterday was a terribly shocking day.

A deep mourning suddenly sting in the middle of laughs.

Father of my very lovely best friend, Nabilla Aghniarizqa (Bella), had just passed away.
Heart-attack.

I tried to calm her down, joking, cheer her up.. though I know that it's really hard to make her tears stop. She tried to smile though I know it's not that easy to lift her lips. I could only give my hands to hold and shoulder to cry on since I'm not a good person in consoling.

Sometimes I think God is unfair for not giving any longer time for saying goodbye to people who's gonna left.
It's just... happened. Quickly.
I'm asking God why He could do so; takes good people suddenly.. and quickly.

Then tonight, I found Bella's post on her blog titled "Secret Plan". It deeply touches and affects me. And also, answer my question.

Because God wanted us to always be aware of what we have. Be grateful, until one day come - come pick them up. Because God wanted to keep it quiet, so we all can laugh till the bad news arrived. Because God wants us to pray at any time, for the happiness that can be lost at any time. Because God wants us to see our image in the glasses, that we are only human.

There's a time when we met and saying hello for the first time. But there will always be the time when we have to waving hand goodbye.
However.
Whenever.

Now we're "waiting" our turn.
To be left...
and to leave...

And Bella, I don't know what to say... Maybe you've done your best and.. you're already be the strongest girl I've ever knew..
Just.. be sincere and.. keep your spirit on reaching your dream.
I believe, he proud to see you from above.
I love you, Bella. We all love you. :)

[source]

post related written by Dhea : [link]

Official Post

2010-06-22T01:20:00.003+07:00

It's always hard for me to write something about my present relationship. It's been my 3rd or 4th post and... I hope I can press "Publish Post" instead of "Save Now" button. I don't know, it's just hard to begin writing about this. As what happened to me on this relationship, it's just a little bit complicated to begin.

See my old posts? Seems like I was too idealist about relationship. Even I ever thought that relationships are messy and... yap, I don't wanna have one nearly. But hey, you cannot play with your feelings! You can't make rule and instruct these-and-those to your heart. You can't manage, and you can't deny.

It was quite hard for me to finally move on. After a betrayal from, let's say, "someone from my past", I tried to be tough for almost a year, and tried to chase someone else. Stressed out, got ups and mostly downs, I've finally stepped back. At that time I found a new best friend. I told him anything about my crush and asked for advices. He's older than me and quite wise too, I think, so I comfortly and open-mindedly accept his advices. Then we went anywhere, shared and talked much about ourselves casually.

My mind kept on its denial when I felt something special to him. I was forcing myself that it 's just a "comfort" feeling. Even when he said that he loves me, I was refusing to have relationship. It's like... I don't want anything change, even turns bad. I wanna keep my feeling goes on that "comfort" track.

I don't wanna have some-kind-of messy relationship and I still on my idealism about messy-relationship. But I don't know why... I was sure that this could be different. Finally I decided to figure this relationship out (I don't know exactly the date), and also... umm.. yeah, I wanna be more mature (at least I'm learning to). I don't wanna think about his past, his ex-girlfriend, and being jealousy. Keep on positive-thinking and believe. That is the key. And the most important thing is commitment from two-sides' hearts. No need more words, just write it on your heart.

What should relationship be? It's should be when you can share your burdens and make it lighter. Not making any new problem instead.

So then...
Here he is. My best friend became my boy friend, by His mysterious way. We can't deny, we can't refuse.

Fatty-sweet cigar-smelled boy ♥

ps. : is it already June 22? Oh yeah, Happy Birthday to the capital city of Indonesia and my boy's hometown: Jakarta! God bless Jakarta, God bless Indonesia :)

Heaven Is Not

2010-06-21T20:26:00.008+07:00

happy end of my day
when i hang my head and hear my heart say
love is such a game you don’t play
you never win anyway

the sun goes down comes the rain
when the water touch the edge of your pain
when the cold air reach your soul
you realize you’re not home

and then one day you came
chase my darkness away
only know i find out what it is all about

heaven is not something you play
heaven is not, is not a promised land
heaven is not, is not where you stay
it’s where i hold your hand

Kitten Hunting

2010-06-10T21:14:00.010+07:00

Lately, my boyfriend craving to have a cute furry pet. At the end, his decision goes to CAT. He wants a little kitten one. And well, I can only hope that he won't do something harm like squashing or pressing it. -_-

Today we went to some kind of animal market and looking for a cute little kitten. Desperately not finding any good one, I went to Dhea's homey to play with her kitten.
Miawwwwwwww :3

Uh, dear my ugly oily dingy face.. I'm sure this kitten looks much more cute than you

I think I got the same euphoria as him. :3

ps.: this post was actually just for uploading some picts of me and Dhea's kitten :p

What was on May?

2010-05-30T19:31:00.016+07:00

Well, I actually have so much to tell to you all. Been more than a month didn't even touch this site, OMG! Really, this is a hectic busy month on this year. I tagged many activities on my calendar and planner-book. They are Debating Competition on the early month, Charity event, selector on two open-recruitment's in the same week, Charity event (again) with different organization, assignment-assignment-assignment, and the last...

UGM BNI JAZZ 2010

Sold out in D-16 \:D/

There, I took a part as PHOTOGRAPHER. (thanks dhea for your support)
I shot many photos. I learned so much here. This event was different from the previous events I grabbed-in such as Ngayogjazz and Java Jazz. Here was so many rules, for example I couldn't be right in front of the stage for long time. The spectators also sit down and dancing was prohibited.

Anyway, here's some shots I took..

confetti!! \:D/

I'm happy to be one of this SUPER GREAT TEAM. We did very well; worked hard on the days before until this event ended.

So guys, see you on the next event! :)

ps: this May was a very beautiful month. I've found my mood-booster and my energy's charger. Fatty sweet ciggar-smelled boy. I'll tell you later! ;)

Girl Power

2010-04-21T12:23:00.004+07:00

Men sometimes look us as mushy figures.
Judge us as weak creatures.
Tears are our weapon to get somebody else's caring, they say.

Fragile.

Trust me, Girl, the only person who can make you stronger is YOURSELF.

This is just about how you can control yourself and suggest that you are the hero of yourself.

My basic principle is that I will never crying-like-a-baby because of a boy. And here I am, still had never been crying even when I dumped and foolishly betrayed by a boy I loved so much.

That principle really made me stand as a tough girl. I never beg him back into my life to re-coloring my days. He left me, I was deeply hurt, I was sad, then I tried to move on however hard it is, however it takes a very long time.

Believe me, the bitterness that ever happened in your life will be just a memory. A memory that someday you can tell to someone else with smile, to make her stronger, as strong as you did or even more. :)

Girl, I know you're all STRONG.

You can be so much STRONGER that you've ever thought.

HAPPY KARTINI DAY 2010

Today, this is not anymore about emancipation but how we can be strong and stand by our own super girl power. That is how modern emancipation works.

Spread the girl power!
:)

Fluctuating Love

2010-04-20T00:06:00.012+07:00

Blogging again, finally. Love again, hell-finally. Hahaha sucks! Should I write it here? Ah that's up to you, Bonscha! This place's yours! Pretend that you don't care if he reads it. Ok, let's begin.

A week ago, I felt like I was walking in the air. High, floaty, swinging, and happy. That was a (re-)new feeling of mine to him; a person that since Valentine's Day I've left my feeling behind. I was not confidence, maybe. I thought that he's looking for another type of girl that the personality is too different to me. You know, I stepped back.

As time goes by, I was always comparing every guys who chased me to him. He was all criteria. He was the package. He was the most perfect figure that can't be described by others personality. Stuck on him? Desperately, right! I thought I've really put off my feelings, but in fact he's running around my head. DARN

Then right a week ago, accidentally we were going together. No feelings, at first. As the traffic was jamming and we've got our time longer n we talked much, I was feeling awkward; suddenly realized that all I need is in front of my eyes n like waiting to be caught soon. I tried hard to act casually then. That made me flying in the sky above for a whole week. I'm in love again, I said to myself.

But right on this time, I feel useless! What do I aim? Waiting for someone who doesn't even notice me? STUPID!

"If he's not that worth it to be fight for, leave him! If you've struggled so much but he doesn't even notice and doesn't give any feedback, leave him!" -Nabilla Aghniarizqa

Because we, girls, deserve to get better one even the best.

Well, I think it's better to leave myself at the zero point, that I have feelings to no one. Let love find a way.

spread the love,
good night.
:)

Curious

2010-03-21T19:42:00.005+07:00

He could be anywhere.
He could be a person who walked behind me in the mall.
He could be a person who repaired my car.
He could be the guitarist of whatever-band I saw the show.
He could be anything, he could be nobody.
He could be my school-mate, he could be my senior even junior, or.. he could be someone that totally new in my life.

See?
I have no clue.
We all have no clue. Not even one of us.
This is the most mysterious and precious secret of God.

Mate.
Soulmate.

Don't you curious about that?

Stay Young

2010-03-18T02:24:00.007+07:00

I've just reached eighteen.
Two years to go to be twenty.

picture by Dhea Laras, on my birthday dinner. thanks dear :*

It feels like I don't wanna grow old.
I don't wanna feel old.

At least, I wanna keep -teen on my age instead of -ty.

Who's in the earth wants to be old?
If life is a multiple-choice, people must choose STAY YOUNG answer rather than GROWING OLD.

ps.: it's written at 3:15 am. in random-feelings and wondering how my twenties will be and the long life after that.

Java Jazz, Camera, and Birthday

2010-03-09T11:32:00.019+07:00

Howdy bloggie! :)

I'm sorry I couldn't write anything during Java Jazz Festival last week. I thought I can find any internet connection easily on the venue. In fact we have to pay some charge if we wanna use wi-fi connection. *sigh

And you know, my home internet connection's becoming jerk and worse everyday. It's difficult to upload any picture. Any size of picture, for-the-god-sake!!! *groaaarrrr

So, I'm playing with my luck. Trying to upload some of them. Here they go..

Barry Likumahuwa Project

Syaharani

Ian. he's also on the Syaharani's band

Jane Monheit

the guitarist of Tika and the Dissidents. isn't he cute? :3

Indra Azis who sings "Jakarta City Blues"

The Maestro: Bubi Chen

silhouette of Roy Hargrove

Too dark?
Too bright?
Grainy?
Miss-focused?
Yes. As an amateur, I realize those weakness.

The point is in fact I like capturing concert. I like the way I snatch for the good place n angle with other photographers. I like patiently waiting for the good lighting so that I won't get an over-exposure picture (moreover I'll get a good back-light, too). I like to be on the very first line of the audience, even right in front of the stage. :)

Unfortunately, I wasn't come into the special shows like Manhattan Transfer and John Legend. The audience were way too much and crowded. My desire of taking any picture of them was vanished. But anyway, I had a chance to join the press-conference of John Legend on the first day.

pictures were taken by Erson Padapiran, my partner(-in-crime) :p

I enjoyed this new experience. :)

The greatest present of this year's birthday was, at twelve o'clock on March 8, 2010 I was on Bob James's performance and being right in front of his mini-stage, and I was only a meter away from him!!

Hey, doesn't it random that I actually working on a radio station but I keep pressing the shutter-button?

Take a chance! All life is a chance. The man who goes the furthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare. The 'sure thing' boat never gets far from shore. -Dale Carnegie

Java Jazz 2010 (part 1)

2010-03-04T22:17:00.003+07:00

Oh Thanks God I'm finally connected!!

Wassup, people?
I'm now already in Jakarta for attending Java Jazz Festival 2010. I'm a reporter for Ardia FM, the radio i've been working for about a year. This is a jazz radio and we're also one of Java Jazz Festival's media partner.
This is really a big luck for me. At first, I was really confused because of the new faculty rules about 100% attendance. But after I was thinking of the benefits I'll get from this event I decide to totally joined this. This is my decision, and I have to be responsible with all risks facing me.

Well, that's all for today. Catch you up tomorrow, Fellas! :)

ps: I'm posting from J-Co in Mall Of Indonesia, Jakarta and the lamps start went off. 10:30 pm already. lalalalalaaa
and yeah, this is my second day in Jakarta. Tomorrow, March 5th will be the first day of Java Jazz Festival. wish me luck for those reportage. See ya! :) :)

what. do. you. want.

2010-02-28T20:01:00.006+07:00

i always saw a name on my phonebook. i knew all phone-calls wouldn't come by that name.
i secretly checked the old account of my mail. hoped that someday a mail with that name will come.
i silently saw every picture of that name. just to check that the owner of that name is fine right there.

i felt like torn into pieces when you go.
ever i thought that if i need i would just lay on my knees for just begging you to stay.
the first time i almost couldn't handle my tears down and you should congratulate me for that.
but i tried to struggling on my feeling and said "Ok, please go enjoy your world."

it's like a long long wait.
i almost bored for this.
i have been being bored, actually.
like i almost forget that i'm waiting.

the day has come. accidentally come. suddenly come.
"SNAP!"
like a bird back to its nest, you came back to me.

but i ain't like the nest who'd always waiting 'till i become old dry branches.
waiting for just being left again and again by the bird.

because i'm not branches.
i'm a human being.

i have a life to live.
not only for being left but to fulfill with things i love.

and i'm sure of my decision,
that YOU ARE NOT on the list of things-i-love.

bye.

As Long As I Have Music

2010-02-21T00:04:00.005+07:00

This is the anthem of my University Choir.

It's really hard for me to leave something I really love. It's bothering me deep inside. I got the passion and this is one of my childhood dream.

University Choir

I've decided to quit because I was way too busy with other activities like softball, broadcasting, and lectures with many assignments. Well, I like to try something new and being active. I also have a pretty well time management instead. But that's not enough. Someday, I realized; Why I do this? What I aim to get? "Loving it" is not only the reason. I have to learn the process well and then get the result as best as i can. So, it's not only because I "love" but it's about "focus" and "result". I don't wanna be half-succeed.

This is the hardest thing to decide in my entire life, so far. Moreover, my tears went down. I've found my "family" here. I have some best friends from my little team for the first little concert. I enjoyed my time with them. It's like leaving home, and losing them is one of the worst part

However, life must goes on. I have to be focused on my softball and broadcasting carrier, and also get a better mark for the next semesters ahead. Thanks for ever been my "home" even just a while. I love being there, and I'm willing to go back someday. I wish I can. :)

Quotes from Macro Economics Class

2010-02-18T22:46:00.004+07:00

"Man is born without a saddle on his back" - Thomas Jefferson

"Nobody in the world has the rights to be my master, because I'm the master of myself".

"From the respected generation, we'll get the respectful people".

The conversation between my Lecturer (L) and 3 CIA officers in front of USA Embassy gate when she was attending invitation of her acceptance to US scholarship:
CIA : "Why America, Ma'am?"
L : "Because America is a democracy country. I hate the learning system here that less of democracy and I'd like to feel the real democracy on the classroom. Second, my books are made in America, so I'd like to learn from the source itself."

thanks for a very inspiring class, Ma'am. :)
dedicated to Ibu Endang Sih Prapti.

Pescetarian

2010-02-16T10:15:00.005+07:00

howdy, people! i'm really in a good mood of writing something. or maybe i just bored? haha can be both of them. ;)
well, the new semester of college has just begun. it's gonna be hard, i think. i got seven subjects, they are five subjects of counting and only 2 of them are theory. i really thank God i didn't get any night-class because that's gonna be tiring and sleepy. today i got a class starts at 1.30pm. i thought it would be great (because i can wake up late) but in fact? i'm bored to death at home!

back to topic, i'll tell you a little about my experience of become a Pescetarian. what's it? maybe some of you haven't known about it. Pescetarian is person who doesn't eat meat and poultry. seafood, fish, product of milks, and products of eggs are okay. semi-vegetarian? yeah. so far i know many people said so.

and why i get into this life-style? well, i started to feel guilty since my mom bought a chicken for Ied Mubarrak celebration and it still contains eggs in its body. i realized it as a hen that killed when it still "pregnant". how could they did that?? don't you ever think if a pregnant women be killed for somebody else's pleasure?

after that, naturally i lost my sense of eating any chickens and other poultry. you know, it's some kind of traumatic. then i totally decided to not eating any mammals.

this is already 4 moths and i've felt the benefit. for example, before i was being a Pesce i got low-blood-pressure. i've ever consecutively consumed mutton for 3 days in a week as dinner to make my blood-pressure higher. but believe it or not, after i stop eating red meat i never get any low-blood-pressure!

try it! and you'll find the magic!
haha

have a great day, people!
:)

Valentine's Day

2010-02-14T23:54:00.006+07:00

Hi, happy Valentine's Day, everyone! well, i know it's late. but i officially started writing at 11.57 pm. that it's still on February 14th. ;)

how's your date anyway? hope you'll get the best year with your couple. me? haha don't ask. with whom would i spend it? mom? haha silly.

well, this month I've been being "single" for 6 months. and you know what, i really really enjoy this situation. i consider that at first it's a little bit hard for losing some care, respect, and love from a guy that i used to get. i also envy some friends who'd just got relationship or.. umm.. wondering why many couples can stand and tough for long time though they're actually got many problems in it. at those months, i also fell in love with a guy; he's warm, wise, care, good-looking, and spontaneous. i liked him very much. i liked spending my time beside him though he doesn't know it. i kept silent and i was just waiting untill (i hope) someday he'll realize it and feels the same way. but time gone by and i think he's found his way to live his life, and i though I'm not there. i stepped back and tried to forget my feelings to him. pretty pathetic. lose even before the war begins.

but it's okay, i tried to move on until i watch a movie called 500 Days of Summer. a quote that successfully stuck in my head is:

"OK. I, like being on my own. I think relationships are messy and people’s feelings get hurt. Who needs it? We’re young, we live in one of the most beautiful cities in the world; might as well have fun while we can and, save the serious stuff for later." - Summer

this scene keeps on playing in my head until i realized that single is happy, single is free, single is time when you can get more own quality time. i should enjoy this situation and i gladly will. furthermore, i'll postpone my plan to have boyfriend until an unspecified time. i'm happy being alone, no disturbtion, free, get closer to my family, and independent.

for those who celebrate with ur girl/boyfriend, or with whoever, Happy Valentine's Day!
spread the love. ♥
:)

Jogja Clothing Attack 2010

2010-02-13T13:28:00.006+07:00

helloo universe! seems long time not writing here, isn't it? well, frankly i've got many accounts and blogs and i sometimes confused of which one will i update first. HAHA fool me!

well, i wanna tell you my new experience on Jogja Clothing Attack as a field officer that held on February 5-7, 2010. this is an annual event (will-be) with many local clothing make stands and exhibit their products in it. the Event Organizer, Indipromedia, put me, Bella, and Laras in "ticketing division" which we have to always be ready inside the ticket box. we started working at 8 am. and finished at 11 pm. tiring? yeahhhhhsss!!! but overall, we're happy. we found many unique, odd, cute, handsome, freak people.

i remember Bella served someone.... umm.. "different". the conversation:
bella : "ticket, Ma'am? how many tickets do you want?"
x: "two, please?"
me : (stunned) (half-whisper to Bella) "umm... Sir, Bel!"
bella : "hah??" "oh, i'm sorry! here's the change and the tickets. thankyou.."
x : "no worries.." (waving his hands)

oooookay. at first, i also saw that person as a tall girl with pigtailed long hair. but at the end, i saw that person's chest that covered by transparent tee's ; he didn't wear any bra!! and the only thing describes him as a girl (beside his hair) is his polished face. oh-my-god! i'm laughing my ass off as he's gone!!!! AHAHAHHAHAHAA

many other funny things happen. also the hectic fans of Endank Soekamti, the biggest guest star at that event. overall, i love this event. i got experience, and i got friends. :)

everyday after the event's over, we counted money. don't we look smart and cool with those money, uh? HAHA

Ria, Bella, me, Laras. me, spent a little money to buy hot sales tee's right after it's over. haha

all field officer team, include the LO's and securities boy.

that week, me and my lovers also did a photo session at Dhea's mini studio. here's some of our craziness.

the others? just check out my gallery! (dhea, laras, and theo's gallery too!) ;)

well, this is the last weekend of holiday. i'm gonna miss my late sleep, late wakeup, walking slowly, burdenless, and step lightly.

enjoy your last days of holiday, guys! :)

2010-01-06T00:09:00.006+07:00

there must be something wrong between you and i that makes the world stop spinning,
at least in our own universe.

nothing lost but the gravity.

exam week begins

2010-01-03T19:28:00.002+07:00

well, let's put the glasses on!

so, here i start devouring the papers, the materials, and the books.

ps.: also start my geek-weeks :B

first post in 2010

2010-01-01T14:33:00.004+07:00

let's have another fantabolous superly amazing year, guys!!
:) :)

last post on 2009

2009-12-31T12:07:00.003+07:00

thanks for giving me so much sadness, happiness, tears, laughs, and much more lessons of life.
:) :)

RIP Gus Dur

2009-12-30T19:26:00.003+07:00

the former president of Indonesia has passed away today at 6:45 pm.
frankly, i really lost his wise, jokes, and his simple thought, especially when he say "gitu aja kok repot".
so far, i see politicians usually think hard for some simple problems. or they're trying to look smart by thinking hard. no one could have his unique and simple thoughts.

Good Bye Abdurrahman Wahid.. Good Bye Gus Dur..
may you get the best place beside Him

notice this!

2009-12-29T18:08:00.006+07:00

bokeh

2009-12-27T10:28:00.007+07:00

it's random and blured. why does it still seem so beautiful?

the answer will never explained obviously, life said.
but you can always find every-single-missing-puzzle-part to combine into a whole beautiful picture of life.

christmas

2009-12-27T08:08:00.002+07:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS!
joy to the world!
:) :)

sorry for late posting. got many things to do during my dad's holiday at home so i couldn't reach the internet as much as days before.

anyways,
HAPPY HOLIDAY FELLAS!
:) :)

Buat Kamu - Syaharani

2009-12-24T12:42:00.001+07:00

bintang2 tak bicara
walaupun seribu nada
kau nyanyikan malam ini

kau tau cinta bukan tabir kata
tak perlu kau tunggu slamanya
kau impikan malam ini

reff:
tak perlu dekat jika hati bisa rasakan hadirnya
tak perlu terungkap sebab hidup rahasia
bagiku cukup untuk nikmati apa yang ada dan terjadi
semua kan mengerti

this song means a lot for me. especially now. :')

crowded

2009-12-22T21:40:00.001+07:00

the room's filled already. but too much people inside! too crowded!
and i can feel my head's spinning and i can't breathe well.
i'm weak and limp.
thanks for hurting.

“When it comes to affairs of love and hurt, you have to wait for your heart to learn what your head already knows, then You can break free”

empty

2009-12-21T23:42:00.001+07:00

don't ever think that being lonely and empty is stifling.
emptiness sometimes worth
or at least don't make it worse

this is actually a self-suggestion. yes, for myself. i feel like losing something that i haven't even get it yet. give up? almost. i'm an inch to the despair line.

Eid Mubarrak

2009-09-20T20:17:00.000+07:00

dear readers, happy Eid Mubarrak! :D
this is a special day for me and for us who are Moslem. but the fact, i spent almost a whole this-first-Eid-day for just SLEEPING! ahahaha. i dont know why i feel so sleepy this afternoon. i slept like i just took

but before i was going to my dreamland, i did a little tradition w my little family. it called "sungkeman"; time for forgive each others' mistakes n begging for any good prayer from the olds. :)

bytheway, i'm gonna go to my parents' hometown in East Java; Ponorogo and Surabaya-Madura.

View Larger Map

yes, this is the moment i'm waiting the most. the time when i can meet my big family, and of course (hoping to) get money from the olds. ahahaa :))

simply say, it's over. :)

2009-09-19T00:01:00.001+07:00

well, what can i say?
no. no more. it's perfectly done. simply over. not as complicated as i imagined before.

thanks, anyway. without you, i will never know who actually i'm looking for. :)

August 4, 2009 is the end.

bythheway, sorry for late updating. lots of things to do. (busy bee wannabe. lols)

blank

2009-07-30T23:25:00.000+07:00

have u ever feel like losing something?
u've ever got it. but that time, u just wanna throw it away. so far away from your face that u can't even see it again. moreover, you really HATE it.
but when it lost n disappear, u'll miss it. really confusing, uh?

CARE

a really simple word but means everything.

it's been 2 days since his last text saying "ok, take care". well, that should be enough for me coz that's wad actually i wanted before. not to overprotect n over-care.
but, oh, come ooon, i'm now sick. and the text just say good nite will be enough for me before heading for the pills n pillow.

alright, just try to think positive. maybe we just waiting each other. he waits my text, so do i. wait for his text.
wait for one of us fix it up.
or break it up.

is it the time to say goodbye?

Overjoyed

2009-05-01T22:39:00.000+07:00

this is one of my favorite arrangement of Overjoyed. feels more groovy, isn't it ? :D

i'm here.. ;)

2009-04-30T14:09:00.000+07:00

this is actually my third blog. and i was invited by my friend, dhea, to join blogspot. she told me that this site is more atractive than my previous blog on wordpress. i'm a nubie here and i'm sorry if there's many lackness. but our lackness mustn't be our weakness, must it ? so, just enjoy it guys ! :)